Got lost there. I try to get used to it. Please keep your eyes open for signs she is interested in someone else, such as being secretive, avoiding you, or hitting the gym. I think that the advice to seek a trained sex therapist, and the encouragement to increase communication between this man and his wife is appropriate and excellent. Even books on men not wanting sex place the responsibility on the woman. I am starting to go to prostitutes is this wrong? Maybe we should start a group. I ask why she said it is just how it is. Though she died quickly sex was never discussed and I can assure you my marriage was a bed of rock. The man in solitary pleasure can flavour his immediate physical sensation with the remembrance of shared pleasures, whereas the woman in giving but taking no pleasure in sex finds her memories of shared pleasure to be sullied. Being uncomfortable in their own skin and ashamed of the extra weight is a common reason why women start avoiding physical intimacy with their spouses. Especially if you once had a, One reason your wife never initiates affection may be stress related. Im at a loss for words. That was 28 years ago. Save yourself it is merely self preservation. Menopause can affect a woman's sexual functioning2 and overall interest in sex. That you are incapable or unwilling to engage in a relationship with a woman as an equal says a lot more about you than it does about marriage. I only wrote this, to just say it. Work and motherhood can be overwhelming, so instead of asking her for sex at the end of the day when youre both exhausted, start planning for it. Shes been mostly dry since a few years before menopause. When we had our kids he was so mad because the babies got attention from me and thought when home they should take back stage. Holy Cow, I have about had it. Nowadays due to the requirement of Adult Mens Sex Toys, different kind of online retailer store like Lovecubby available for a variety of high-quality sex toys for men & women that everyone can love. Emotional intimacy is a big factor in a happy marriage and a satisfying sex life. ( I told him about the job opening). There's nothing wrong with the lower-libido partnerthey simply just don't want sex as often as the other person. I am very attracted sexually to my wife and it hurts my ego that she isnt at all. Ive tried vacations, dates, sex toys, lubricants, vitamins, blah blah blah..when a gal is not sexually attracted to you and is generally more than willing to never have sex again cuz (insert the reason I dont understand here) shes not going to change at 70. I feel very blessed, because my gynecologist put me on low dose hormone therapy. Never unfaithful. var disqus_config = function () { I really miss a girlfriend I used to have who loved giving me oral sex. I dont even bother to talk to her (all she does is whine and complain). Dont worry about having sex for a long time. Sexual intimacy is kissing, hugging, touching, petting, laying baked, masturbating one another, oral sex and that look of intensity that tells you that you are desired. Im 65 and he is 74. My avocation has been fitness for over 50 years and I love the field. I feel your frustration. Spend the same time you are researching and pursuing prostitutesworking out and looking healthier and bettering your relationship. Because I am not attractive to her. You have (understandable) guilt and shame about sex, undoubtedly influenced by your current predicament and the old trauma of feeling rejected during your first long-term partnership. I chose to stay just to piss my wife off. If you want to romance her at 11 p.m., you need to understand that she needs time to sleep! she adds. I think because I really enjoyed masturbating from my semenarche to marriage, I brought in a healthy way of looking at sex. Sex was great and plentiful in beginning (weve been together 32yrs), but he has lost all interest and I havent had sex in years. Getting out of the friend zone with your wife will require you to find another zone for yourself. There are ways to maintain physical intimacy while someone undergoes treatment for ED. What to do about it: Using lube can help immensely with vaginal dryness and pain, and including more clitoral stimulation and sex toys can help make sure sexual experiences continue to be pleasurable for your wife. He needs to get his hormone levels tested as he is mostly estrogen dominant and low test. So, your wife has told you that her ex didn't treat her that well, yet she chased him. Maybe, she knows of your infidelity, but hasnt spoken about it? I became completely numb to anything. A woman may lose interest in sex, even in a happy marriage, if the sex does not bring her sexual pleasure. Good points you made for sure. He started blaming his medication but when I checked that out he moved on to another excuse. Before the ink was dry on the marriage license, shed already decided she was done being nice. She has her own retail business, which cash flows, but has hasnt turned a profit in the last 5 years. I actually envy those that are single. I have kept fit and kept busy. She may well become that cat lady a previous poster described. Most stay in the marriage because of kids and the men cheat as they should. You and your husband need to take some hours to reconnect, or try to reconnect, with the people you believe yourself to have been when you first fell in love with each other. But I still love her and will be heartbroken when that day comes. Really connect. Unfortunately the one thing that was supposed to save civilization was the internet. "The typical, goal-oriented 'round-the-bases' approach to sex doesn't inspire, arouse, or satisfy women," relationship coach Bez Stone writes at mbg. But at the same time love is kind and will not guilt trip. Our devastation has completely made intimacy and sex impossible. At 20 years I did start having a partner on the side because I was very sexually frustrated and that partner within the same situation. 25 Romantic Things To Say To Your Husband, 12 Things To Do When Husband Is Not Affectionate Or Romantic, 7 Ways To Get The Romance Back After Having A Baby, 10 Best-Selling Relationship Books Couples Can Read Together, How To Make Up For Forgetting Your Anniversary 8 Ways To Do It. Nope no sex. We do love each other though. Whenever equality or egalitarianism gets discussed in the context of marriage, you can be sure this will involve benefits/advantages, whether natural or societal, that men have that ought to be shared equally with women and not benefits/advantages, whether natural or societal, that women have that ought to be shared equally with men. I think the resolve here is to tell the parent who is confiding in you to seek professional help, and then bud out. Husband even can not touch her, let alone touch to arouse her. I am in your same position but from the other side I am a 64 year old healthy, active man. and hugs when one of us leaves the house. So I disagree when people say leave the marriage as soon as the sex stops. Yeah. I could do as well financially as a single person and there are women who would be happy with what I can provide, both financially and intimately. 2 weeks later I spoke to her again and ended up asking if she knew what I was suggesting. To answer your question from my 69-year old, male POV: And LATINA. We had a normal sex life up till last year 3/4 times a week, but at Christmas, during the middle of the day, where our 2 daughters could have walked downstairs and seen him, I happened to come around the corner near his office to see him standing there watching porn and masturbating, after we just had sex that morning. When it gone, its gone. At this stage, you may be right about getting help. Porn is the no. Some doctors will prescribe testosterone and advise DHEA supplementation. Now it is back to looking at every other couple as maybe having something unattainable for me and my Wife. Semi handsome for an old guy. I cant say all women are like this but the handful I have been with do not talk about what feels good to them or what they would like me to do and/or do differently. He is a kind man and I love him. For many men, wooing and life after wooing are two vastly different realities. She needs you to see the world from her eyes and to understand her perspective. Ive tried everything I can think of but Ive given up. I just dont understand. She never apologized. So all women who married men and saw this first hand, from 14 to 80. If the lack of interest in physical intimacy came on suddenly and caught you unawares, it is possible that your wife is involved with another person. Most woman will get turned off by men putting us down and there is no way we will reward you by having sex with you and if you wait until the next day to be s jerk after having sex with make less likely for you to get I. Satan worked this into the sexual revolution and feminism (not that either were inherently bad) so that his message has overtaken THE Word of God that says tons of times to do it and do it often. Even to the point that when she gets sexually turned on it still causes her pain. Start your own discussion on this topic on Senior Planet Community. Medication also he ls good to me but his hobby ls everything to him he jokes around with me we are like room Although she initially helped with my toddlers, she eventually lost interest and helped only occasionally. She would be lost. Mental health issues dont appear out of nowhere for no reason. The situations here are not just issues for straight couples. You ever think about getting some on the side? A dip in intimacy can be brought on by several factors new responsibilities, changing priorities, biological and physiological changes. My wife and I are in our 60s, very active and in good health. My wife has offered to let me move on, the problem is I love her and everything else about our relationship. Weekly turned into Monthly then every 3 or 4 months question about sex. Sexuality is just part of the human condition but a life partner who is no longer interested or capable of providing that experience must be respected and understood. Oh, and me driving the car, she has panic attacks and asks I dont drive. I found a wonderful woman gynecologist, and she put me on low dose hormone therapy. So these women that men here are complaining about, it may just be the attraction towards the man is gone! Having a regular marriage check-in can help you keep an eye on your relationship and ensure you are satisfied with how much time you spend together in the bedroom. I have both physical and emotional desires that seem to be building resentment towards him. Just curious. It literally changed our lives. My wife of 43 years has no need for sex except very infrequently and then only quick missionary. Weve been married for 27 years and have 3 adult children. Your stereotypes are both incorrect AND insulting. Its just not worth my time to talk to her, all I get is whining, complaining and thats exhausting. Hormonal changes, which can start as early as your 20s, can also be root causes of low sex drive. He does not have ED or any similar issue, wont see a therapist or talk about this, and he becomes angry and defensive if I bring up sex or hug him or show any affection. Stay single, young men, Marriage is not for you. So now a hug one a day (maybe) and pecks on lips when leaving house. I have spent most of my life not being spoiled by anyone. So no, this was not the place to blow your horn. An underlying, undetectedmental health issue can affect sex drive. Our experts helped them improve their sex life by advising a bit more spontaneity. In my is own skin. I had four children from a previous marriage, I had a tubal ligation reversal so we could have a child of our own, By serious good luck, we had one. Due to bi-polar, I have had a strong sex drive since I can remember. Many marriages are suffering in this area, and even the strongest and most supportive husbands feel isolated from their wives. Jack- SHe aint lost brother. mine forgot my birthday this year (it is 2 days before his lol) and our wedding anniversary : ( I can not compete with his online game omg he plays 24-7 so I can relate to your problem with your wife choosing the phone over you thats cold. Bonnie, thank you for commenting. But at this point I dont think her interest in sex will ever revive, so what would your advice be? Too much trouble. Then theres the masturbation/porn thing. I can live with that, but I can not live with never being touched or made love to ever again. Really, I may as well just be rooming with a friend at this point in the game. But if neither of those possible remedies to the sexless marriage proves satisfactory, then perhaps the couple should agree to allow the husband to seek sex outside of the marriage. That leads to no communication and uselessness. Reading some of the commentary I can identify with the concerns.I fantasize frequently about past relationships and what might have been but I only become sadder. Really its happening with many couples as the year goes and children born the interest goes down. Any discussion goes nowhere. While my wife does not do drugs or anything like that, she has lost the interest for sex. 1. Tired of initiating intimacy? But, as we have read many time here, that it is OK for the woman/wife to force her husband into a sexless marriage. My doctor keeps a close eye on me too. Then menopause dried it out and the muscles resist and joints spasm, so its painful. You need to be in the counseling with her because if there is no goal to overcome the issue then its just a feel good talk of sympathy and thats not treatment. I was disgusted with the thought of my tongue in that region. At first when we were dating this were fine. I say I know exactly what youre taking about because my wife has had four back surgeries and we have sex RARELY! If your wife avoids intimacy, this could be her way of punishing you for something she suspects you of. My husband and I both have gained weight. I caught my husband with his ex girlfriend. Sigh I dont even want to see anyone else. Look, I am an RN and living with a man who is 5 years older than me. Ive been accepting of her feelings and expectations. Youre saying I love her, etc etc and she couldnt care less? I am 65 and raring to go and caopable of satisfying a woman in her 30s. The last time we tried, she complained of the pain even with lubrication. We are 64 years old and havent had sex for 3 1/2 years. Now, for the past several months, we go to bed together and after I have fallen asleep, he starts masterbating and the shaking of the bed awakens me. I have stayed in the marriage because of my kids and other family issues which go beyond this comment. No doubt youre frustrated. 5 Marriage Problems That Most Couples Face And Their Solutions, My Wife Is Not Interested In Sex And Sometimes It Feels Like I Am Having It With A Dead Body. I am fine with him pleasuring himself and even using porn is fine. she feels palpitation and jitters and she perspires just as the thought of it.. bottomline, my mom just wants companionship but my dad wants more. He tries to manipulate me about everything and after 30 years of marriage I am over it. Let the in-laws or best friend care for your children for a day or two. He is ten years older. Nothing before marriage, nothing on our wedding night and little to nothing for the next 46+ years. Just like mental health, physical well-being is also essential for women to feel sexually charged up. It could mean that your wife is experiencing changes in her mental health or there is an unresolved issue in your relationship. Really? This isn't a tit-for-tat sort of thing, though. This kind of if the man would only be more __ advice saturates the internet and its usually written by people with degrees instead of wisdom. You have slipped into being neutral around her, rather than being masculine and making her feel girly in your presence Inside, you may feel very masculine or confident, but she's not going to feel any desire to be affectionate if you don't use your masculinity to make her feel feminine (rather than neutral) in comparison to you. As for porn, I dont mind it at all when he watches it (though he thinks I never see him), after all, we are all human and have drives and needs. Perhaps there's a desire discrepancy between you, whether in general or just at this particular time in your lives, and you're both very aware of it. You risk losing it all for the same quick minute that you already have with your wife. 3. Its not always the woman who has no interest.
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